The good, the bad and the ugly

Lets start with
The Ugly: me

Me when I'm frustrated, me when I'm impatient, when I plan things and they go wrong, me when I don't communicate what I want, need or expect, me when I'm tired, me when I am overwhelmed, me from a profile perspective and me anytime I am on camera apparently.
so me, 90% of the time.

The Bad: the life I have created
Over-committing to everyone and everything in my life, commuting to work so that I'm gone 11 hours a day, the demands that I put on myself, the expectation that others put on me, the never ending to do list, the feeling that if I really did just sit down and relax and let go of everything for an entire week there would be 4 meetings missed, 30 calls to return, 3 loads of laundry, 2 loads of dishes, a broken chair/drawer/appliance to be fixed, a press release, a board report, and 100 + emails to write, photos to be sent, gifts to be bought, stacks to be sorted....

The Good: the rain
I love the rain. The rain has always been philosophical to me. When it rains, I can change my frame of mind. I let the rain wash away my worries and my stress, my exhaustion, my tension, my nervousness, my feeling of never being enough, doing enough, knowing enough. The rain is my symbolic stop sign, the smell and sight and feel of everything being clean and fresh and growing again.

My pace of life leaves me feeling like I am in the desert with no water to quench my thirst.

I need the rain.

I need the earth to give me that fresh start or I need to find a way to do it myself even though it feels so impossible in this moment.