Crazy, I was crazy once

Do you ever feel like you're ready to climb the walls? Literally…? Like everywhere you go you just want to stand on a table, push the roof up and somehow escape into another world, another realm. I'm feeling like that lately. I love so much about my life, my husband, our travels, our pets, our families, but I feel like I'm drowning in this life. I think theres something bigger out there and I don't know what it is but I want to go get it.

Sometimes, okay, every day, I think what would happen if we just sold it all? The houses, the clothes, the workout equipment, the furniture, the cars, the computers…and just hit the road. What would happen? Better yet, what could happen?
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It's been a month or so since we hiked. At least a month since I really felt free. Free from a cell phone, free from a deadline, free from a responsibility, an email needing to be returned, a household chore left to be done. When we we go, my mind goes. That's what I need, what I crave.

I know hiking won't pay a bill, but I'd like to think that those bills and obligations could be smaller than our adventures. I remember reading something once that talked about your possessions like a knapsack. You take a bag and for everything you own you add a weight: the clothes, the house, the car, the computer, the desk, the TV and so on and so on. Eventually that sack gets so heavy you can't possibly move. That's how I feel. Remember that dumb thing we did when we were little? Someone would say crazy and you'd say "Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a rubber room with rubber walls and a rubber ball that rolled round and round. That was crazy… Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a rubber room…" and so on and so on.

When we're hiking, that's all gone. When we're climbing some mountain, everything we need to survive is in a space we can carry, a weight we can handle, in a bag we can set down. Nothing is rubber. Everything is natural. Everything moves in its own time, the wind, the sun, the leaves. They have no schedule, no alarm, no weight. Thats a really good feeling.