Progress

Again, NPR.
A Russian woman explains that "Progress makes people weak. They forget how to struggle to survive." It's a thought I've had often, but never put so eloquently. What do you think?

One margarita and one beer

That is all.

The good, the bad and the ugly

Lets start with
The Ugly: me

Me when I'm frustrated, me when I'm impatient, when I plan things and they go wrong, me when I don't communicate what I want, need or expect, me when I'm tired, me when I am overwhelmed, me from a profile perspective and me anytime I am on camera apparently.
so me, 90% of the time.

The Bad: the life I have created
Over-committing to everyone and everything in my life, commuting to work so that I'm gone 11 hours a day, the demands that I put on myself, the expectation that others put on me, the never ending to do list, the feeling that if I really did just sit down and relax and let go of everything for an entire week there would be 4 meetings missed, 30 calls to return, 3 loads of laundry, 2 loads of dishes, a broken chair/drawer/appliance to be fixed, a press release, a board report, and 100 + emails to write, photos to be sent, gifts to be bought, stacks to be sorted....

The Good: the rain
I love the rain. The rain has always been philosophical to me. When it rains, I can change my frame of mind. I let the rain wash away my worries and my stress, my exhaustion, my tension, my nervousness, my feeling of never being enough, doing enough, knowing enough. The rain is my symbolic stop sign, the smell and sight and feel of everything being clean and fresh and growing again.

My pace of life leaves me feeling like I am in the desert with no water to quench my thirst.

I need the rain.

I need the earth to give me that fresh start or I need to find a way to do it myself even though it feels so impossible in this moment.

Gratitude

So this morning I was listening to a podcast on NPR and the reporter has spent the last year profiling manufacturing an factory jobs and people in South Carolina, specifically Greenville, a manufacturing hub. I won't get too detailed but they played audio of this guy who worked as a truck driver for factories his whole life and he's sitting in this bar. He tells the reporter that his life has been a fantasy. The reporter repeats the term incredulously, like "Fantasy! Really?" and guy says absolutely, he's been to Canada where a pretty waitress wanted to marry him and he's lived in Texas and been to Mexico. He's been to places and seen things other people only dream of and you have to be thankful for every moment, realize you're life is a fantasy and appreciate it or you're missing out.

I think we all have something to learn from that man. A truck driver for factories in Greenville South Caroline who feels his life has been so good, so valuable, so exciting and so good that it is a "fantasy life."

We should all be that humble, that grateful.

What I see while driving through Lucerne

1. A dust storm while trucks work on the shoulder
2. A whole team of cyclists (14 to be exact) from United Healthcare heading up the mountain
3. A man selling jewelry on tables on the side of the road
4. Two ladies on the side of the road sitting in lawn chairs watching a pony eat some hay (behind their truck and trailer)

Del Taco, it's what's for breakfast.

That's right. Spicy chicken burrito and coffee, the breakfast of champions. My cat is missing and I have to drive 2 hours to be at work for 3.5 hours; that's my day.

Dogs Deserve the Front Seat

I think dogs should ride in the front seat. This is why

1. Its way cuter to see their head hanging out the front window of a car than the back.
2. I only have to clean hair off one bucket seat instead of a whole bench seat.
3. They're closer to pet, and hold on to when you turn corners.
4. Our dog really does seem to like it. She can put her butt up against the seat and be standing with her head over the dash board looking out the front window when I go too fast to stick her head out the window, or she can sit down, or stand with her head out the window; its good all around.

so far

My New Years Resolutions include writing more handwritten letters, plan some family dinners with my grandparents, start a little photography business on Etsy, and keep my car clean, but only the inside, I didn't want to get out of hand.